A MAN WENT TO INnOUT WITH NO NAME. AFTER HE ORDERED FOOD, THE CASHIER SAID, “OK, WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?” THE MAN ANSWERED, ” MAX “. THEN THE CASHIER SAID, ” OK THEN NOT TO BE RUDE BUT WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER? “. WHAT IS THE NAME OF HIS PARTNER?
AN EYE IN A BLUE FACE SAW AN EYE IN A GREEN FACE. “THAT EYE IS LIKE THIS EYE” SAID THE FIRST EYE, “BUT IN LOW PLACE NOT IN HIGH PLACE”?
THE SUN ON THE DAISIES
IF YOU LIKE PRETTY GEMS THAT SPARKLE AND SHINE, I INVITE YOU TO DIG IN MY VIRTUAL MINE. MY FIRST PLACE IS PURPLE, FIT FOR A KING. MY SECOND IS GREEN WHERE DOROTHY DID HER THING. MY THIRD IS RED, JULY’S BIRTHSTONE AS WELL, MY FOURTH IS SEEN IN STRINGS AND IS FOUND INSIDE A SHELL. MY FIFTH IS HARD, PURE CARBON AND EXPENSIVE TO BUY, MY SIXTH IS CROCODOLITE, STRIPED LIKE THE BIG CAT’S EYE. SEVENTH IS TWO WORDS, A MAN-MADE FAKE OF APRIL’S STONE, EIGHT IS VERY DARK AND FOUND AT LIGHTNING RIDGE ALONE. NOW TAKE FROM EACH GEM, ONE LETTER IN IT’S TURN AND YOU WILL FIND THE STUFF FOR WHICH EVEN THE GOD’S YEARN?
AMBROSIA THE GEMS ARE: AMETHYST EMERALD (EMERALD CITY IN THE WIZARD OF OZ) RUBY PEARL DIAMOND TIGER’S EYE CUBIC ZIRCONIUM (FAKE DIAMOND) BLACK OPAL TAKING THE FIRST LETTER OF AMETHYST, SECOND OF EMERALD ETC. GIVES AMBROSIA – THE FOOD OF THE GO
MANY MANNED SCUD-THUMPER, MAKER OF WORN WOOD, SHRUB-RASTER, SKY MOCKER, RAVE! PORTLY PUSHER, WIND SLAVE. WHAT AM I?
WHAT DO THE NUMBERS 11, 69 AND 88 HAVE IN COMMON?
THEY READ THE SAME RIGHT SIDE OR UPSIDE DOWN
WHILE PLAYING WITH A METAL WASHER SHAPED LIKE A RING, DAVE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED IT ON HIS FINGER TOO FAR AND COULDN’T GET IT OFF. TRYING TO REMOVE IT USING SOAP AND WATER DIDN’T WORK. THE HOSPITAL SENT HIM TO A SERVICE STATION THINKING THEY COULD CUT THE METAL. SINCE THE RING WAS MADE WITH SPECIALLY HARDENED STEEL, IT COULDN’T BE CUT. JUST THEN BOB ARRIVED ON THE SCENE AND SUGGESTED AN EASY WAY TO REMOVE THE WASHER IN JUST A FEW MINUTES. WHAT WAS HIS SOLUTION?
BOB SUGGESTED THAT DAVE HOLD HIS FINGER IN THE AIR WHILE SOMEONE WOUNDED A PIECE OF STRING TIGHTLY AROUND HIS FINGER JUST ABOVE THE METAL RING. THE STRING FORCE THE SWELLING DOWN. AS THEY UNWOUNDED THE STRING FROM THE END NEAREST THE RING.
WHEN I AM USED, I AM USELESS, ONCE OFFERED SOON REJECTED. IN DESPERATION OF EXPRESSED THE INTENDED NOT PROTECTED. WHAT AM I?
POOR ALIBI OR EXCUSE
FORMED LONG AGO YET, MADE TODAY, EMPLOYED WHILE OTHERS SLEEP. WHAT NONE WOULD FREELY GIVE AWAY NOR ANY WISH TO KEEP?
I MOVE VERY SLOWLY AT AN IMPERCEPTIBLE RATE ALTHOUGH I TAKE MY TIME, I AM NEVER LATE. I ACCOMPANY LIFE AND SURVIVE PAST DEMISE. I AM VIEWED WITH ESTEEM IN MANY WOMEN’S EYE. WHAT AM I?
IF SEVEN PEOPLE MEET EACH OTHER AND SHAKE HANDS ONLY ONCE WITH EACH OTHER, HOW MANY HANDSHAKES WILL THERE HAVE BEEN?
TWENTY-ONE. MOST PEOPLE WOULD THINK THERE WERE 42 HANDSHAKES
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